Decisions.

enough is enough.

its time for me to start taking things seriously.

study, relationships, friends, family.

everything has a limit to it. and its time for me to start

now or else everything's gonna be too late or gone.

decisions are hard to be made,

but we dont have a choice but to make it.

or else it would only make my life harder.

enough said.

its time for me to become a nerddd :(

finals in november!

and im feeling so scared al of a sudden! :S

i Cinta Mass Comm :D



i want i want i want!

10 Things I Want BADLY!

1. BB Bold :)
2. a ferret!
3. DSLR.
4. high-waisted skirts :)
5. awesome lingerie from lasenza :D
6. onion rings from Tony Romas!
7. grey contact lenses!
8. heeeels :D
9. a red handbag :)
10. java chippp. heeee

ohgosh. i better start working real soon! :(

Its How I Want It To Be :)

The Last Song, BestMovieI'veEverWatchedSoFarThroughoutTheWholeYear ♥ Im so in loveee witht he movie and the actor! goshhh. ohyeah, and not forgetting the turtles although i suck at taking care of them :/ i've decided to name the three tortoises i have honey, cookie and cheese :P food names, i know. but those are the food that i love. so dont laugh! :( well, these are the scenes i loved most in the movie, it really touched my heart :)

the one that looks me in the eye everytime he says he loves me,
the one that tells me he loves and cares for me constantly,
the one that holds me in his arms tightly when i need him,
the one that kisses my forehead everytime he kisses me goodbye,
the one that holds my hand everytime he sees me,
the one that means everything he says to me,
the one that makes my heart feel happy,
the one who would call me back when i hang up on him,
the one that would stay awake and watch me sleep,
the one that would love me naturally just the way i am, 
the one that never fails to get bored of me,
the one that loves and tolerates me no matter how annoying i am,
and the one that makes me feel comfortable and save in his arms.
You're The One That I'd Want To Be With ♥

READ THIS!

I HATE YOU!

YOU'LL NEVER UNDERSTAND HOW I FEEL!

ALL YOU THINK ABOUT ITS YOURSELF!

FUCK OFF!

IHeartYou.

bie, you're the only one that i'm thinking of even when im gonna leave.

promise me you'll take care of yourself and be happy alright?

hmmm i miss you like crazy right now.

12days will pass by real soon i hope.

remember our promise?

you'll be waiting for me and i'll be back to be together with you :)

we'll eat pizza as soon as im back :D

ahhh! i feel like eating that now.

eat well, sleep well and take good care of yourself k baby?

text me if you can. i'll be waiting.

i had fun last night ♥

and it'll always be on my mind :)))

IHeartYou!

Now, Always And Foreverrr.

Bits And Pieces.

Oh wow. i did not blog for three days. Miracle!
yikes, was actually kinda busy with i dont know what. college i guess?
well, i dont really know what to blog about. i'll just blog about what i did?
ooo like seriously lately i've been getting all kinds of nightmares. and its spoiling my sleep :(
like wtf right. stop distubing me you freaking nightmares!
well according to research, nightmares happen when a person is too stressed up
or eating just before a person goes to sleep -.-
oh well, maybe thats why i've been getting nigtmares. swt.
yesterday was a public holiday.
didnt have much plans besides going to aeon for lunch with my parents and adrian.
i hate it when i have to go for lunches like that.
i'll just shut up and wont say a word. haha. after that went bie took me to the park in botanic.
ahhh its been awile since i last went there. awesome place!
i plan to let my tortoise go in that lake when it grows big! haha.
im starting to miss high school and my friends.
life was so much easier back then, we didnt have to think so much about money,
didnt have to make such big decisions in life.
time cant be turned back, sadly. oh yeah and i finally got to ease my craving by
getting the durians i've been craving forrrr. yummy! :D
but its causing me pimples and what nots.
and im getting fatter and fatter. muka tembam already :( 
i hate it when my face is chubby. it annoys me when i look at the mirror. 
ugh. how am i gonna lose weight when all i see is food in front of me everyday?! 
im going to aussie next sunday, im so gonna miss malaysia :(
i plan to work when i come back from aussie. 
Adi keeps bugging me to work in timberland again. hahah.
oh damn, i miss him like alot. those working times were one of the fun times of my life.
it was like we basically owned the whole aeon cos we got discounts everywhere.
why did i wake up so early today? see im crapping too much now.
nothing to do besides online-ing and editing. im chatting with nesh and cg now.
nesh is super funny. haha sometimes i wish i had classes everyday
rather than staying at home doing nothing.
i have alot of assignments to do actually but the shit part is,
i fucking dont understand how the heck to do it. howwwwww?!
im gonna die. the due date is in three weeks and i havent started anything :(
oh shit i better not get stressed up. chill amanda, chill! i should go look for food now cos im starving!

well, i edited some pics ytd since i had nothing to do. still not pro yet. but its my effort you know :P

                                                                                                                                                                                                  

 

     love the smiley :D         

Black & White Effect.

Collage.    

Love This The Most. MASSIVE.

Cross-Process.     

collage too.         

typical adrian. haha     

seriously, love the dinosaur there ♥  

memories :) ♥       

lastly, i heart you people :) xoxoxox!

p/s : you be happy too. you know i still care for you. i wish you could understand, things would be so much easier if you did. goodbye.

Bootylicious.

ARGH! cant sleep again :( slept from 5-7something. i dont know why everytime i come back from college i'll be darn tired ! too much studying maybe xP but its okay at least i've found something to do. editing pics on picnik ! :D i know im vain cos' im always camwhoring butttt who cares ! heee. today was kinda boring. classes sucked big time especially english. the lecturer is totally sucky but well, she seems to like me, soo im fine with it. my timetable got mixed up. i recieved a new timetable last week and it shows that i need to be going for moral education! wth right? all the while i've been going for msian studies! ohgosh, i dont know why my whole course is like so messed up! but still, m lovin' mass comm!  :D so boo you those who are stuck in business studies! some people in class says im "sombong"! haha come on. im never sombong if you get to know me better! anyway, classes tomorrow starts at 9am -.-  so freakin' early. and i've got exactly 3hours to sleep.


 im still awake listening to lady gaga and beyonce. i realize beyonce looks good although she's not skinny. she's bootylicious which is kinda awesome especially in the 'Diva' video and it actually  made me feel better now cos' i thought i'll look better skinnier but the truth is flabby-ness are not only sexy but it means you're happy and healthy not only beyonce but shakira too. she is defined as HAWT. haha. must be more self confident la kan? :P and and and the best part is i actually figured out a topic for my assignment, 'Media Images Of Skinny Models That Influence The Perception Of Teenagers.' ah finally lah i got it! :D

isnt she hot enough? :D       

shakira :)   

beyonce :)  

awesome bodies they have ;D     

 well, i guess i better go to bed now. time is running damn fast -.- nights!

p/s : IMissYouHeaps.

Fuck It !

                                                                                           




All You Can Do Is Break My Heart Into Two.
And Im Still Right Here Being So Patient.
Cos All You Think About Is Yourself.
Yeah At Times You Say I Dont Care,
But What's The Point Of Caring When You Dont Appreciate It?
Just Fuck Off ! Im Sick Of This Shit !
Sorry Aint Gonna Change Anything.

22nd August 2010.

Assignments. Assignments. Assignments! ugh. you make me sick! i've always wanted to do mass comm but i hate doing assignments. i mean, i knew there was going to be alot of assignments before transferring but still .__. i dont understand a single thing in IT Principles class and im pretty much lost because i still dont have my freaking student id! grrr. and the worst part is i'll be missing a week of classes when i go to aussie next month, which only makes things even worst because im already blur right now, and i'll be even more blurrer when i come back. ohgosh. HELP please, somebody? i told mommy i dont wanna go to australia but she keeps forcing me. ughh. anyways, there's nothing much to blog about today -.- the whole day i basically my butt was stuck right in front of the tv watching stairway to heaven. that movie is seriously addictive i tell you. by just watching it i dont even wanna move, eat, sleep or breathe. wait, minus the breathing. haha. other than that iw as texting with cg and i cleaned my hamster's cage. weeee! my hamster is like super cute. i feel like squeezing it and biting it :@ okay maybe thats crazy! haha. well, cg told me his dog is playful around him which makes me feel like getting a dog too! but im broke and i aint working! i better start working as soona s i come back from aussie. i need cash like seriously =( and fos some reason i hate J at times. she acts like as if she's so desperate to see guys -.-  i mean come on la. grow up for god's sake. its super annoying when you act that way and being so LOA in front of everyone. well, i guess thats enough for today. i needa go back to doing my homework. classes again at eight tomorrow.yikes! and how sad can it be i heard the moon is shrinking :( you know how much i love seeing the moon. LOL. 

well, well, well. i was kinda bored today. so i decided to camwhore :P
            xoxoxoxo ♥

True Love.

Dear John. a movie that i just watched. its really touching. i cried while watching it. thats just so me. crying everytime i watch a movie that is sad. well, this movie made me realize something. True Love somehow will always be there. No matter how far or how long two lovers may be, somehow they would meet again if they were fated to be together.
                                            

                  

To My True Love, This Is What I Would Love To Say To You:

I Will Always Be There When You Feel Like Being Quiet,
When You Need To Speak Your Mind.
I Will Listen and I Will Be There When The Laughter Turns Into Tears,
Through The Winning, Losing And Trying.
We'll Always Be Together. I Will Be There.
And I'll Lend You My Shoulder To Cry On,
My Hands To Fit Yours Into Mine Perfectly,
I'll Be There Always Smiling When You Look Into My Eyes,
And When The Mirror Show Us We're Older,
I Will Hold You and I Will Be There, Right By Your Side,
To Watch You Grow Old In Beauty And Tell You All the Things You Are,
And How We Used To Be,
Sharing The Old Memories Together,
I Will Be There,
And I Will Be True To You, True To The Promise I Had Made To You. 
Always, Now And Forever ♥

Vanilla Twilight ♥

Happy Birthday to me. im officially eighteen today. well, i dont really find it a big deal anyways. im not happy either. i feel sad. and why is it so? i dont know. every year i feel the same. is this gonna happen to me every year? well i just wish someone could accompany me throughout the night for my birthday. surprise me with something i like? make me feel happy by doing something i like for once? i mean, i have feelings too. i wanna feel appreciated and loved. i may be smiling on the outside, but deep down inside i wish things were much better. im pretty much sensitive at times and i wish YOU would at least pay a lil attention to me for once. well i guess thats enough for today. im off to bed.

The stars lean down to kiss you

And I lie awake and miss you

Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere

'Cause I'll doze off safe and soundly

But I'll miss your arms around me

I'd send a postcard to you, dear

'Cause I wish you were here

I'll watch the night turn light-blue

But it's not the same without you

Because it takes two to whisper quietly

The silence isn't so bad

'Til I look at my hands and feel sad

'Cause the spaces between my fingers

Are right where yours fit perfectly

(ilovethispartofthesong. its really sad.)

I'll find repose in new ways

Though I haven't slept in two days

'Cause cold nostalgia, Chills me to the bone

But drenched in vanilla twilight

I'll sit on the front porch all night

Waist-deep in thought because

When I think of you I don't feel so alone

I don't feel so alone, I don't feel so alone

As many times as I blink , I'll think of you tonight

I'll think of you tonight

When violet eyes get brighter, And heavy wings grow lighter

I'll taste the sky and feel alive again

AndI'll forget the world that I knew, But I swear I won't forget you

Oh, if my voice could reach, Back through the past

I'd whisper in your ear

Oh darling, I wish you were here.

p/s : this song, its really sweet. its one of my afvourite songs too. i know you care and love me alot. but im so sorry things had to end this way. the past can never be turned back. but you'll always be in my memory cos you complete part of my life. im posting this for you. hope you'll understand and not treat me differently. im still waiting for your wish although i know you would'nt be wishing me. sadly as it is, im off to bed already. nights.

What Have I Turned Into?

Mood Swings. defined as a rapid and extreme changing in mood, from excessively happy to desperately miserable. oh shit. that is so me. i dont know why but lately i've been having such bad mood swings. everyne keep saying that im bad tempered, im moody and stuffs like that. all i can hear people telling me is, "chill, relax, breathe." yeah well, chill amanda,chill. everything will be fine. maybe im undergoing depression or something. or im just too stressed up with life lah /: but i cant stop getting angry and worked up over things /: i used to be the "happy-go-lucky" girl that always laughs for every small thing but now its different. what have i turned into? :O i get all mad and tensed up everytime someone says something that i dont like or i'll either get too emotional over something and just break down and cry. what the heck right? i know. gahh. so any idea how to ease the pain and frustration im feeling? well no i dont think so. i used to get all worked up and tensed because i cared about what others thought about me but as time passed, i realised i definitely cant please anyone. some people may like me, and some people might even hate me but i dont care either way, im not losing myself over it and im not changing for anyone. i just gotta put myself to ease maybe by just breathing out loud or taking a chill pill? sometimes, we need to hit that lowest point of being sad, the point where you can't take it anymore and you completely lose yourself, to finally get back up on your feet again, without fear, there would be no accomplishment and no testing our limitations. so i guess what im doing is right? after laughing out loud and crying my heart out i'll feel better instead :D

                                       something about this caught my eye. and somehow i find it true.

RANDOM SIAL.

im unreasonable. im fat and chubby. im irresponsible. im annoying. im hard to predict. im complicated. im sensitive. im insane. im egoistic. im a mess. im immature. im selfish. im a bitch at times. im plain lazy. im never satisfied. im hard to be understood. im a big eater. i make alot of noise. im a pain in the ass. im everything you can ever think of :) but who cares. i still love being me and thats what matters right? :) if you can handle me that way, den fuck it. you'll just have to learn how to deal with me :)

FML.

*YAWNS*

havent been blogging since i started college.

everyday is like so hectic especially the traveling to college by ktm everyday.

fuckin' tiring /:

well, at first i thought college life would be much easier and fun but it turns out to be the other way round.

first,

i hate doing business.

secondly,

i hate travelling by ktm.

thirdly,

i need money and i wanna work ):

fourth,

i have to study all over again after 9mths of relaxing and my brains are too lazy to work.

fifth,

i've been having bad luck ever since monday. i mean like wtf deh.

MONDAY :

 i woke up late, forgot my timetable,

 had to search for my class for almost 45mins,

 went to pyramid for movie and had to leave 5mins

before the movie even started to

 get back to college, took the cab 4 times,

 spent 200bucks plus, the bus broke down

 otw to ktm and the train did not stop at the station

that i wanted to get down at. like wtf right.  

TUESDAY :

 i didnt have transport to go back. had to wait in subang till 430, walked to the ktm and when i

                 reached tlk gadong station i had to walk back again. and of all days i wore heels on that day.

                 my legs were like hurting so badly. 

WEDNESDAY:

 i got sick. ad fever, cough, flu and sore throat from out of nowhere. maybe cos im too tired

                     of travelling and im not used to the whole new routine. i even lost my appetite. didnt eaT

 much ever since.  FML

THURSDAY :

 Fought with my dad about business course. i got the marketing book already but i've been

                   thinking about changing courses so i have to like repay for the new course since classes

    started already /:

FRIDAY :

 wen to pyramid and after the movie i realised i have sore eyes! ARGHHH.

and the list goes on and on. hopefully the coming monday wouldnt be so bad after all. i miss my friends alot ): i wish i could go back to high school. life was so much easier back then.

Buzy Buzzing Around Like A Bee :P

ohwow, i have lots to update about.

okayyy let's start with thursday.

haha!

woke u early around 8 and blah blah blah.

met up with ily, ikhwan and adi for karaoke sessions :P

at greenbox again! i knw, AGAIN!

i think i went karaoke at least three times in less than two weeks?

crazy i knw, tell me about it. haha.

sooo, i wasnt really singing much cos i was having stomachache of all days :S

but still, i did. towards the ending actually. we were singing our hearts out. haha

especially ikhwan. he sang with fulll of passion :P hahaha!

well, i love his voice! and he sang "I Dont Wanna Miss A Thing" for me.

how sweet is that kan? :) i cant help it but i seriously feel like i've known him for a long long time.

cos we blend well and we can actually talk about anything :D his an awesome friend!

after karaoke, we went to watch SALT!

at first i thought it was gonna be for at least two hours, but it actually ended in less than 2hrs.

dissapponting actually. but whatever it is, angelina jolie was HAWT!

haha i've never said that before cos i actually dislike her but she was okay in the movie :P

maybe cos i liked her hairstyle. haha.

after all that, i went home and i was half broke. haha!

but then....

i decided to finish all my cash! haha! its a bad thing i know cos now im officially BROKE!

with three bucks in my purse! ah!

well well well,

now its about yesterday im gonna blog about!

went for my orientation at 930am with charlotte.

i thought it would be fun at first cos i get to meet new friends! but it turned out to be,

SUPER BORING!

the students are mostly all nerd! ohgod, how am i gonna cope up with college?

im starting to hate it already.

okay, maybe i shud become more nerdy and score distinctions in my papers!

yeah thats what im gonna do.haha.

so i skipped another 4hours of orientation cos i couldnt stand any longer.

all of us met up in asia for lunch. i invited jesseca along too.

so we lepak-ed there awhile and decided to stick to our plan to go to pyramid.

but charlotte cancelled last minute so we didnt have transport to go there and decided to take the bus!

so we got into the bus and i called bie and he said i was in the wrong bus. great!

so we got down from the bus again and all of a sudden i noticed i left my file in the bus.

no wait, after jesseca asking me where's my file! shit happens. grr.

i basically suck at taking the bus sooo we didnt have a choice but instead we followed a friend

which was also chin guan's friend /:

and he was there too. total awkwardness! gahh!

i wanted to say hi to him but you know him, he wants to avoid me! so yeah its okay.

i didnt say hi then.
so we went to pyramid. me up with pei ghee and kel.
went for sushi and watched SALT again /: but this time in 2D.
i dont get what's the difference of the normal one and 2D.
i mean its even more darker in 2D. but why would anyone wanna watch it that way? lol.
wasted money only. grrr.
well i got back around 6 something.
had a long long day /: and im so tired . so thats it for the day.
xoxox!

Lost.

i wish things could be so much easier for me.

i just need a break from everything.

i wish i could just close my eyes and forget everything thats happening.

But It Cant Happen.

If Only I Could Tell You How I Feel.
If Only Words Can Decribe How I Feel Inside.
Im Confused, Lost, Heartbrokened.
It Affetcs Things I Know, But It'll Never Change My Love For You.
I Still Love You No Matter What.
I Just Dont Know How To Express Things Yet.
Its Hard For Me To Act Like Im Okay.
My Mind Is Filled With Alot Of Things That Cant Be Solved.
I'll Make It Up To You When Im Okay.
Please Dont Give Up On Me. ♥

23rd-July-2010.

its been a long day today.

tiring but fun though :D

started off my day by singing my heart out at Greenbox.

went there with ily and i was actualie lucky cos they extended time till 3pm.

it means we were actually karaoke-ing for 5hours.

from 10am-3pm.

awesome right? :D

guess im just lucky. hehehe.

and guess what?

im going again tmr. aha.

its seriously fun cos i can let out all my frustration by singing. haha.

the only song i loved singing most was "I Dont Wanna Miss A Thing by Aerosmith!"

loveeee that song!

after greenbox, we went for lunch together.

waited till 6 to watch Street Dance together with Ikhwan.

i actually watched it before but it was nice to watch it again.

aeon is gettin super cold nowadays /:

which actually sucks cos i shiver everytime i go there!

anyway after the movie we talked for about 40minutes while waiting for bie.

he fetched me out of aeon and we went to a mamak nearby.

i kinda argued with him over somethin.

but we manage to solve things and it turned out okay.

soooo, conclusion: it has been a long and tiring day and im off to bed :D

xoxoxox! (:

~ you broke my heart and it made me wanna cry.

TwentyFirstJulyTwoThousandTen :D

 (:

let's see. hmm what i did today?

basically, jus hang out at aeon -.-

BORINGGGG!  

but, i got to spend the day with bie. so its considered unboring.

we had pizza for lunch. finally i could end my cravings for pizza and i felt so satisfied!

haha.

well, after that we went for a movie.

which was sooo boring for me but fun for bie /:

slept off halfway watching it.

stupid Inception :@

its more to mind games.

so not my type of movieee :/

was in aeon till 9pm.

how lifeless can i be. thanks to my mum cos i got no transport to go back.

was thinking bout taking my undang test again today. but i forgot what i studied again.

DAMNIT!

and sooo,

after the movie bie had to leave so i was in r20 talking to ikhwan.

and i got myself a blue checkered shirt :D

finally, i found a nice one with a reasonable price since im kinda broke now.

again, i have to wait for ten days to get my next pay.

sigh.

i feel so lifeless nowadays after quitting my job.

shouldn't have resigned till i started college /:

orientation is on the 29th,

and im starting classes on the 2nd of august.

hopefully i'll blend in with the other students and have new friends .

till then, toodles !

                                                                                                                                           

HeLovesMe, IKnow :)

                                                                                                                                                      xoxoxox! ♥

Impossible.

I remember years ago

Someone told me I should take

Caution when it comes to love

I did, I did

And you were strong and I was not

My illusion, my mistake

I was careless, I forgot

I did

 

And now when all is done

There is nothing to say

You have gone and so effortlessly

You have won

You can go ahead tell them

Tell them all I know now, Shout it from the roof top

Write it on the sky love, All we had is gone now

Tell them I was happy, And my heart is broken

All my scars are open

Tell them what I hoped would be

Impossible, impossible

Impossible, impossible

Falling out of love is hard

Falling for betrayal is worst

Broken trust and broken hearts

I know, I know

Thinking all you need is there

Building faith on love is worst

Empty promises will wear

I know (i know)

And know when all is gone

There is nothing to say

And if you're done with embarrassing me

On your own you can go ahead tell them

Tell them all I know now

Shout it from the roof top

Write it on the sky love

All we had is gone now

Tell them I was happy

And my heart is broken

All my scars are open

Tell them what I hoped would be

Impossible, impossible

Impossible, impossible

Impossible, impossible
Ooh impossible (yeah yeah)

I remember years ago

Someone told me I should take

Caution when it comes to love

I did

Tell them all I know now

Shout it from the roof top
Write it on the sky love

All we had is gone now
Tell them I was happy (i was happy)

And my heart is broken

All my scars are open

Tell them what I hoped would be

Impossible, impossible

Impossible, impossible

Impossible, impossible

I remember years ago

Someone told me I should take

Caution when it comes to love

I did.

ohshit. emoness back again all of a sudden after listening to this song /:

p/s : Bie, IHeartYou ♥

30 Random Facts About Me :D

1. i hate showering and i can go on without showering for days.

2. i love complaining instead of trying to find a solution :P p/s : bie im sorry. aha

3. i love eating and i spend half of my pay buying food :O

4. i have a thing for fluffy and huge-eyed things. i find them freaking-ishly CUTE!

5. i cant live without my 3-month-old boyfie. i'd probably be lost or dead without him :O

6. i have a warm body, with cold hands and feet. weird i know.

7. i have flabby arms and legs. and i hate it! ):

8. i have a huge ass and its getting bigger and bigger day by day.

9. i love black and red ;D

10. i hate to admit it when im wrong and i'll never accept the fact that im wrong either.

11. i have loads of pride and ego. everyone agrees with it.

12. im proud to be chindian but i cant speak either tamil or chinese -__- total banana!

13. i planned on marrying the guy im currently madly in love with now. long-lasting relationship perhaps? <3

14. i cant leave home without my eyeliners on. hehe.

15. i have always dreamed of getting my own petshop :p

16. imma reptile lover :D

17. i hate wearing shoes. and i'd never wear them unless i dont have a choice. flipflop fan :D

18. im a heartbreaker at times.

19. perfectionist too.

20. i love literature, and basically anything that has to do with poems.

21. im a good listener but a bad advisor. so please dont look for me when you're in trouble. haha

22. i love making out! especially with bie :D

23. i've turned into a shopoholic ever since i started working.

24. i hate milk and i think its disgusting :S

25. im selfish, impatient and immature at times.

26. im chubby, short and i make alot of noise.

27. i tend to pee everytime i feel scared, cold or get high. hahaha

28. i love camwhoring and i think its fun :D

29. i love geting sick and i always wish to get fever for days but it always fails to happen. haha

30. biting my nails are one of my worst habits /:

 

im just happy being me :D