22nd August 2010.

Assignments. Assignments. Assignments! ugh. you make me sick! i've always wanted to do mass comm but i hate doing assignments. i mean, i knew there was going to be alot of assignments before transferring but still .__. i dont understand a single thing in IT Principles class and im pretty much lost because i still dont have my freaking student id! grrr. and the worst part is i'll be missing a week of classes when i go to aussie next month, which only makes things even worst because im already blur right now, and i'll be even more blurrer when i come back. ohgosh. HELP please, somebody? i told mommy i dont wanna go to australia but she keeps forcing me. ughh. anyways, there's nothing much to blog about today -.- the whole day i basically my butt was stuck right in front of the tv watching stairway to heaven. that movie is seriously addictive i tell you. by just watching it i dont even wanna move, eat, sleep or breathe. wait, minus the breathing. haha. other than that iw as texting with cg and i cleaned my hamster's cage. weeee! my hamster is like super cute. i feel like squeezing it and biting it :@ okay maybe thats crazy! haha. well, cg told me his dog is playful around him which makes me feel like getting a dog too! but im broke and i aint working! i better start working as soona s i come back from aussie. i need cash like seriously =( and fos some reason i hate J at times. she acts like as if she's so desperate to see guys -.-  i mean come on la. grow up for god's sake. its super annoying when you act that way and being so LOA in front of everyone. well, i guess thats enough for today. i needa go back to doing my homework. classes again at eight tomorrow.yikes! and how sad can it be i heard the moon is shrinking :( you know how much i love seeing the moon. LOL. 

well, well, well. i was kinda bored today. so i decided to camwhore :P
            xoxoxoxo ♥

True Love.

Dear John. a movie that i just watched. its really touching. i cried while watching it. thats just so me. crying everytime i watch a movie that is sad. well, this movie made me realize something. True Love somehow will always be there. No matter how far or how long two lovers may be, somehow they would meet again if they were fated to be together.
                                            

                  

To My True Love, This Is What I Would Love To Say To You:

I Will Always Be There When You Feel Like Being Quiet,
When You Need To Speak Your Mind.
I Will Listen and I Will Be There When The Laughter Turns Into Tears,
Through The Winning, Losing And Trying.
We'll Always Be Together. I Will Be There.
And I'll Lend You My Shoulder To Cry On,
My Hands To Fit Yours Into Mine Perfectly,
I'll Be There Always Smiling When You Look Into My Eyes,
And When The Mirror Show Us We're Older,
I Will Hold You and I Will Be There, Right By Your Side,
To Watch You Grow Old In Beauty And Tell You All the Things You Are,
And How We Used To Be,
Sharing The Old Memories Together,
I Will Be There,
And I Will Be True To You, True To The Promise I Had Made To You. 
Always, Now And Forever ♥

Vanilla Twilight ♥

Happy Birthday to me. im officially eighteen today. well, i dont really find it a big deal anyways. im not happy either. i feel sad. and why is it so? i dont know. every year i feel the same. is this gonna happen to me every year? well i just wish someone could accompany me throughout the night for my birthday. surprise me with something i like? make me feel happy by doing something i like for once? i mean, i have feelings too. i wanna feel appreciated and loved. i may be smiling on the outside, but deep down inside i wish things were much better. im pretty much sensitive at times and i wish YOU would at least pay a lil attention to me for once. well i guess thats enough for today. im off to bed.

The stars lean down to kiss you

And I lie awake and miss you

Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere

'Cause I'll doze off safe and soundly

But I'll miss your arms around me

I'd send a postcard to you, dear

'Cause I wish you were here

I'll watch the night turn light-blue

But it's not the same without you

Because it takes two to whisper quietly

The silence isn't so bad

'Til I look at my hands and feel sad

'Cause the spaces between my fingers

Are right where yours fit perfectly

(ilovethispartofthesong. its really sad.)

I'll find repose in new ways

Though I haven't slept in two days

'Cause cold nostalgia, Chills me to the bone

But drenched in vanilla twilight

I'll sit on the front porch all night

Waist-deep in thought because

When I think of you I don't feel so alone

I don't feel so alone, I don't feel so alone

As many times as I blink , I'll think of you tonight

I'll think of you tonight

When violet eyes get brighter, And heavy wings grow lighter

I'll taste the sky and feel alive again

AndI'll forget the world that I knew, But I swear I won't forget you

Oh, if my voice could reach, Back through the past

I'd whisper in your ear

Oh darling, I wish you were here.

p/s : this song, its really sweet. its one of my afvourite songs too. i know you care and love me alot. but im so sorry things had to end this way. the past can never be turned back. but you'll always be in my memory cos you complete part of my life. im posting this for you. hope you'll understand and not treat me differently. im still waiting for your wish although i know you would'nt be wishing me. sadly as it is, im off to bed already. nights.

What Have I Turned Into?

Mood Swings. defined as a rapid and extreme changing in mood, from excessively happy to desperately miserable. oh shit. that is so me. i dont know why but lately i've been having such bad mood swings. everyne keep saying that im bad tempered, im moody and stuffs like that. all i can hear people telling me is, "chill, relax, breathe." yeah well, chill amanda,chill. everything will be fine. maybe im undergoing depression or something. or im just too stressed up with life lah /: but i cant stop getting angry and worked up over things /: i used to be the "happy-go-lucky" girl that always laughs for every small thing but now its different. what have i turned into? :O i get all mad and tensed up everytime someone says something that i dont like or i'll either get too emotional over something and just break down and cry. what the heck right? i know. gahh. so any idea how to ease the pain and frustration im feeling? well no i dont think so. i used to get all worked up and tensed because i cared about what others thought about me but as time passed, i realised i definitely cant please anyone. some people may like me, and some people might even hate me but i dont care either way, im not losing myself over it and im not changing for anyone. i just gotta put myself to ease maybe by just breathing out loud or taking a chill pill? sometimes, we need to hit that lowest point of being sad, the point where you can't take it anymore and you completely lose yourself, to finally get back up on your feet again, without fear, there would be no accomplishment and no testing our limitations. so i guess what im doing is right? after laughing out loud and crying my heart out i'll feel better instead :D

                                       something about this caught my eye. and somehow i find it true.

RANDOM SIAL.

im unreasonable. im fat and chubby. im irresponsible. im annoying. im hard to predict. im complicated. im sensitive. im insane. im egoistic. im a mess. im immature. im selfish. im a bitch at times. im plain lazy. im never satisfied. im hard to be understood. im a big eater. i make alot of noise. im a pain in the ass. im everything you can ever think of :) but who cares. i still love being me and thats what matters right? :) if you can handle me that way, den fuck it. you'll just have to learn how to deal with me :)

FML.

*YAWNS*

havent been blogging since i started college.

everyday is like so hectic especially the traveling to college by ktm everyday.

fuckin' tiring /:

well, at first i thought college life would be much easier and fun but it turns out to be the other way round.

first,

i hate doing business.

secondly,

i hate travelling by ktm.

thirdly,

i need money and i wanna work ):

fourth,

i have to study all over again after 9mths of relaxing and my brains are too lazy to work.

fifth,

i've been having bad luck ever since monday. i mean like wtf deh.

MONDAY :

 i woke up late, forgot my timetable,

 had to search for my class for almost 45mins,

 went to pyramid for movie and had to leave 5mins

before the movie even started to

 get back to college, took the cab 4 times,

 spent 200bucks plus, the bus broke down

 otw to ktm and the train did not stop at the station

that i wanted to get down at. like wtf right.  

TUESDAY :

 i didnt have transport to go back. had to wait in subang till 430, walked to the ktm and when i

                 reached tlk gadong station i had to walk back again. and of all days i wore heels on that day.

                 my legs were like hurting so badly. 

WEDNESDAY:

 i got sick. ad fever, cough, flu and sore throat from out of nowhere. maybe cos im too tired

                     of travelling and im not used to the whole new routine. i even lost my appetite. didnt eaT

 much ever since.  FML

THURSDAY :

 Fought with my dad about business course. i got the marketing book already but i've been

                   thinking about changing courses so i have to like repay for the new course since classes

    started already /:

FRIDAY :

 wen to pyramid and after the movie i realised i have sore eyes! ARGHHH.

and the list goes on and on. hopefully the coming monday wouldnt be so bad after all. i miss my friends alot ): i wish i could go back to high school. life was so much easier back then.

Buzy Buzzing Around Like A Bee :P

ohwow, i have lots to update about.

okayyy let's start with thursday.

haha!

woke u early around 8 and blah blah blah.

met up with ily, ikhwan and adi for karaoke sessions :P

at greenbox again! i knw, AGAIN!

i think i went karaoke at least three times in less than two weeks?

crazy i knw, tell me about it. haha.

sooo, i wasnt really singing much cos i was having stomachache of all days :S

but still, i did. towards the ending actually. we were singing our hearts out. haha

especially ikhwan. he sang with fulll of passion :P hahaha!

well, i love his voice! and he sang "I Dont Wanna Miss A Thing" for me.

how sweet is that kan? :) i cant help it but i seriously feel like i've known him for a long long time.

cos we blend well and we can actually talk about anything :D his an awesome friend!

after karaoke, we went to watch SALT!

at first i thought it was gonna be for at least two hours, but it actually ended in less than 2hrs.

dissapponting actually. but whatever it is, angelina jolie was HAWT!

haha i've never said that before cos i actually dislike her but she was okay in the movie :P

maybe cos i liked her hairstyle. haha.

after all that, i went home and i was half broke. haha!

but then....

i decided to finish all my cash! haha! its a bad thing i know cos now im officially BROKE!

with three bucks in my purse! ah!

well well well,

now its about yesterday im gonna blog about!

went for my orientation at 930am with charlotte.

i thought it would be fun at first cos i get to meet new friends! but it turned out to be,

SUPER BORING!

the students are mostly all nerd! ohgod, how am i gonna cope up with college?

im starting to hate it already.

okay, maybe i shud become more nerdy and score distinctions in my papers!

yeah thats what im gonna do.haha.

so i skipped another 4hours of orientation cos i couldnt stand any longer.

all of us met up in asia for lunch. i invited jesseca along too.

so we lepak-ed there awhile and decided to stick to our plan to go to pyramid.

but charlotte cancelled last minute so we didnt have transport to go there and decided to take the bus!

so we got into the bus and i called bie and he said i was in the wrong bus. great!

so we got down from the bus again and all of a sudden i noticed i left my file in the bus.

no wait, after jesseca asking me where's my file! shit happens. grr.

i basically suck at taking the bus sooo we didnt have a choice but instead we followed a friend

which was also chin guan's friend /:

and he was there too. total awkwardness! gahh!

i wanted to say hi to him but you know him, he wants to avoid me! so yeah its okay.

i didnt say hi then.
so we went to pyramid. me up with pei ghee and kel.
went for sushi and watched SALT again /: but this time in 2D.
i dont get what's the difference of the normal one and 2D.
i mean its even more darker in 2D. but why would anyone wanna watch it that way? lol.
wasted money only. grrr.
well i got back around 6 something.
had a long long day /: and im so tired . so thats it for the day.
xoxox!