THE THINGS I FEEL, I CAN NEVER DESCRIBE IT NOR TELL ANYONE ABOUT IT.

ITS TORTURING YET PAINFUL AT THE SAME TIME.

BUT I GUESS ITS JUST,

ME AGAINST THE WORLD.

Popper.

HELLO I'M BACK AGAIN :D just made a few changes with my blog and it looks perfect to me now. ohwell, i've not been blogging for ages thanks to the shitload of assignments and work to be done throughout sem 3 and now it's finally OVER. but with finals coming up next 2 weeks, i guess today will be the day i should blog before i start studying (: i've been spending the rest of my time with Pink as usual since i'm a "loner" for now but things have been okay for me i guess. and so, since i'm such a die-hard-fan-of-movies, i decided to watch MR POPPERS PENGUIN. the most adorable and awesome movie i've watched so far. the touching yet comedy movie was so good that i feel like watching it again. so here it is : 

the penguins is so adorable and so is Jim Carrey, the ultimate comedy man ever. haha. i've been in love with his movies since i was a kid right until now, would never missed them for the world. i really really suggest all movie goers out there, please watch it! you'll not regret ;) moving on, there were alot of thigns happening lately like: 

1. relationship problems.

2.drama with the "parents" 

3. assignments

4. finals in two weeks

5. financial issues for shopping ;P

6. stress, anger, depression. 

okay so that's basically what i've been going through. OH and not forgetting "DILEMMA". yes, i'm actually confused with what i want to do with life, or what should i do, what decision i should make. i've been thinking so hard and yet i stillc ant find the answer. WHY OH WHY. can someone please tell me? ugh.

27.05.2011

hello people! :D

here I am updating my blog again, after some time. 

well, today has been some kind of a productive day tho' although it was stressful and frustrating in the morning.

seriously, college was a bitch today. never loved this semester!

knew it was gonna be a mess, but OH WELL.

woke up at 6am today only to find out that it was raining super heavily on a weekday 

when i have 8am classes. SCREW 8AM classes!

went to college with my wet clothes and ended up doing assignments the whole day, rushing and rushing

and it's only like what? the first week of the semester? fucked up. 

BUT..

anyways, i had an awesome lunch :D i know i said i'm gonna go on a diet but the plan somehow always

fails, since i'm a super big eater, but surprisingly i didn't eat anything at all yesterday

since i was sick. so yeah. 

came home and slept after that, woke up and went for dinner and pool with Pink and Song Chee.

the only two klang people i can actually count on. seriously, i think i'm losing all my klang friends.

i've not seen any of them around lately except those who are in my college of course.

but i did have a fun night and i've just thought of starting to practice playing pool. I KNOW I SUCK AT IT OK. but it can always be learnt. :D

thank god, i've been better lately. gotta slow down on smoking. its killing my throat. :/

oh and someone's birthday is today, so..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CHIN GUAN :D

have fun (:

TIRED.

PATHETIC. you know i've come to realized that my life is so pathetic and sad. I've no interest or talent in anything. all i do is listen to people going on and on about their lives and how things goes and how everything's so great this way and that way. and then i come home, and i just stare completely blank at the ceiling thinking, what am i good at? what am i actually interested in doing and how pathetic my life is. why do i feel this way ? why ? is it because of all the stress that i have been facing? all the relationship stuffs that has been going thru my head, and no one else knows how i feel, not even my boyfriend. sometimes i think it's all because of the way i was brought up. i wasn't like any other kids who had the best childhood memories. all i remember from my childhood were all negative stuffs, and now being treated unfairly all the time, it sucks. living with overprotective parents, are the worst thing ever. i'm deprived from everything, EVERYTHING that i love to do, everything a young girl would want to do. i'm not blaming them for being overprotective, but seriously, deep down i feel like shit. i feel like i've known nothing about the world but instead i'm protected from the realistic world. it's like there's no freedom at all. and just when the semester break starts, this thoughts in my head, they're so torturing. and knowing that everything is a lie, it's so hard to really trust a person sometimes, but i'm just living with it. sad isn't it ? i know.

p/s : nothing can make me feel better anymore. these tears that can never stop rolling down, i'm done with it.  if only time could turn back to how it was...

 goodbye.

Bits & Pieces.

OKAY, SO HERE'S THE THING. everyone is shocked to find out that I'm smoking. why so? i don't get it either. haha! some of my friends staring at me weirdly, some asking me "sinc when do you smoke", "when you started smoking?" & etc etc. i mean, yeah maybe before this i didn't so yeah i've changed to become more "bad" i can say. but oh well. it's just for sometime after all the stress that has been going on with college and relationships. but it's all good people. yeah i smoke, and drink at times, so what? deal with it. if you wanna judge me then go ahead. i'm fine with it :) i have the right to make my own choices and decisions. anyway, i'm not going to say much about that..

5:30pm - went to watch FAST 5. and hell yeah i can say it was one of the most best and awesomest movie ever. i don't mind paying to watch it again. (Y) the way they robbed and steal those cars and money, pro sial :O and guess what? i actually liked Vin Diesel although i said i dislike muscular guys, but him, OMG HOT AS HELL. loved his body and his character in the movie. yums.

10.00pm - Went to meet song chee and pink at Express. yeah, i've been hanging out with her like almost everyday. what would i do without her. gossiped about some stuffs, did some catching up with song chee as well. puffed and drank a few cups. i can never drink much, my face and eyes gets super red. that's why i hate drinking :S so yeah.

OH OH. and for Mother's day, made a card for mummy and got her a bouquet of flowers :D i know, i know i'm a really good daughter. hehehe :P

   p/s : happy mother's day mummy ♥

                                                                            

Mad.

THANKS. i'm one of the worst people you met, and you're pissed at me? what for? why do i even deserve all this shit from you? Just because you're frustrated , i deserve to get all the screaming and shouting? if you don't know how to change your attitude and be polite, then don't fuckin' talk to me. I've been so patient all these while, but how long can a person take it? i no longer can, and then you blame me for not appreciating you when i cared so much about you, put you first in everything i do. can you even find someone as understanding as me? i know at times i'm a pain in the ass, but not once in my life i screamed at you out of frustration. i have feelings too, i'm not a toy like what i've always said. i have a heart that has been broken into a million pieces thanks to you, but yet i keep forgiving and coming back to you. but you'll never understand right? you'll never feel even a little bit happy and i don't appreciate you right? then don't fucking care about me anymore since i don't deserve to be with someone like you. my heart is really hurting. TOO MUCH. but not once, i teared or complained about it but instead i tried to be patient and stayed strong. but what now?

i just feel like giving up on everything.

i just wanna leave. 

and, 

27/04/12

WEDNESDAY. Hello readers or followers , if i have one. :O its been awhile since i blogged. oh well, have been super busy with assignments for the pass 3 weeks! torturing as hell. i'm kinda free now tho,so felt like updating my blog. hmmm, spent the whole day in Subang today. Super EPIC. hahaha! firstly, the reason why i was in Subang was to study, but instead there are so many distractions there, ALL THE FREAKING time. even from the train, to the walks, college, and etc. So, i took the train down with mar lynn today with our super sleepy eyes, and we actually didn't want anything epci to happen, so yeah it didn't in the morning. Headed down to ac for a drink then to MED to study, but as usual we got distracted by the crowd and the loud music, worst still, the whole shop started singing 'The Lazy Song' when it was played. after studying for a lil while, i ecided to wear my shades to sleep instead till the crowd lessen. woke up, studied for awhile then headed to Salmon Steak to have steak rice. YUM ! met Jason there, after such a loooong time of not hang out. it was kinda awkward at first, but as usual we were back to our crazy selves. haha. The funniest thig is, we saw a freaking man who was short and had a huge belly, that looks like Mr. Potatoman. Laughed the shit out of ourselves the whole time there and then headed to MED again. spent sometime studying tho. after studying, we were all super tired and Jega decided to leave at 430pm but as usual, my fault for asking her to wait till 530. but in the end we left at 510pm, but was caught in the rain so we sat in front of a bank for like 45mins, talking cock the whole time. and jason was kind enough to follow and got stucked with us as well. sat there talking the whole time and decided to leave when the rain was slowed down. Shared one miserable umbrella with Jega and walked to ktm, all the freaking drivers with no brains sped so fast and the water just splashed on us. Such a bitch ! epic thing is, me and lynn are the worst road crossers, we're more like a chicken crossing the road, lost with no directions screaming all the way till we crossed it. 

HAHAHAHA OMG LOOK WHAT I CAME ACROSS !

That's exactly what i meant ! hahahaha! 

oh well, thank god Anand was there to lead us there. So we reached the ktm all wet and smelly, and the train came at about 7pm, and as usual it was packed like crazy ! pushed and stuffed ourselves into the train and that's when lynn said, "OMG i think i lost my phone!" GREAT. i was super panicked and her face was also in panic and fear, searched her whole bag and ended up finding it in her small pocket inside her bag. Phew! I guess that's what i did the whole day. a long day filled with nonsense and crap as well as experience. HAHA.  I had fun though, yeah it was pretty much fun and i'm sure i'll be missing all of them during the semester break :( here's some picture's of us :

 ME & MY BABY, LYNN <3

US AGAIN : )

 SLEEPING WITH MY SHADES ON : )

anyways, that's all for today. GOODNIGHT :) 

p/s : I've never changed at all, maybe it's just the environment that we live in or the boundaries like what you said ;)